The over thinker

There is a road the normal human mind plows scratch that, the human mind is diverse no one truly understands it. The feelings of depression has gained ground in the hearts of many, oh I am a victim. The strong are seen as gods, oh yes they’ve got it all! And the weak, we are just mere mortals, we should look up to the strong for survival. But, what happens when the strong falls? What happens when they disappear into thin air? I have this feelings of suffocation, I thought I had it all in place, why do I find myself in an empty space, the space of time. Am I overthinking? No, this is not how it’s meant to be. What happens when the strong admits their weaknesses? Will you tag them as weak? I don’t know what my mind tells me but the feeling of depression isn’t cheap. I’m an over thinker and I’m suffocating in my sleep. At the end I’ll push my problems aside and listen to your blames, because I turned to the wrong source for answers, place a curse to my name. I’ve said this words a million times, maybe it doesn’t apply to me. When I converse with the other mind, I’ll probably see the need. 1million times I’ll text you the word “smile” and express them in emojis, yes, a million times I’ll write “smile” but my heart, my heart still bleeds. Why do you stay where you are, what do you want for me? If I told you my worries, what help will you probably give? I fear you’ll see these things, ignore them, they are just mere lines If only you’ll pick my fears from my sweet rhymes. I hope I find my happiness once again... I pray my candles never burn out. But here I am over thinking once again and suffocating in my sleep. If only I couldn’t wake up from this dream The dream where I’m everything and beautiful Where I could connect with every soul Listen while they speak and feel the rhythm in their heart beat. If only it was as easy as they said it be To gain confidence and say all that makes my heart aches. Why does the world see me differently? Why am I always tagged as ugly? Maybe I’m a little weird Harsh words ringing in my head But the world is ungrateful for its beauty They themselves make it a mess Am I making up excuses, To cover the hurt I’ve felt ? Just tell me a little story Something to calm my hurtful self. A voice spoke and I listened Listen to what the voice said. “True the world sees you as ugly But I don’t want you to be scared A soul is waiting out there Try reach out and connect There’s beauty in the universe And you complete it in yourself. It’s not a fault with you You are without a defect Maybe the world needs a change of view That means, the fault is in them.” But darkness is gradually turning daylight And I’m still overthinking in my bed. © 6th